World Mental Health Day and Gardening

Gardening and Mental Health are fantastic partners:

No this isn't me jumping on a band wagon.

I take anti-depressants. I have done for around 12 years.
The reasons for my depression are a complicated jumble of chronic illness, the death of my mother, trying to self-build a house and renovate another, workplace bullying, and the classic: hormones.

After being brushed off by a doctor near our old house, we decided to transfer to the practice near our self-build. The 10 minute assessment appointment turned into an hour. I reeled off everything that was happening to me, I sobbed, she listened, she asked me some questions on a standard test to try to gauge my current state, and she decided I needed to give myself a break, she would get my medical issues fully investigated and while I was waiting for Consultant appointments and scans she wanted me to start taking an anti-depressant.

I broke down in tears again, not so much because I felt like a failure for needing anti-depressants (which is very common), but because she had heard me, really heard me.

We started on a very low dose of something to boost my serotonin levels...in fact the pharmacy printed label said 'take one daily to boost low mood'.

My GP checked back in with me a couple of weeks later, then again a couple of weeks later, and we agreed that though I'd noticed an improvement, it was very mild, perhaps we needed to increase the dose a bit.

Currently I'm prescribed 3 times the amount I was on when I started (which is still well below the maximum daily dosage), and for me it works. I feel balanced, my responses to stress, anxiety and sadness are much more in proportion - I now recognise just how bad I was back in 2007.

I think it is incredibly important that we talk about mental health and stop being afraid of anti-depressants. Talking openly to people at work, I've discovered quite a few people who have been prescribed them. Some only for a short time, and some much more long term like me.

I've seen people give up because the tablet prescribed didn't work, or gave them side-effects - to these people I say wait, speak to your GP about your concerns. There are a lot of options out there, just because one tablet hasn't helped doesn't mean a different one won't. I was lucky that my GP chose carefully for me. Also anti-depressants aren't like flipping a light switch, things take time to work and find balance. My husband was incredibly supportive which helped enormously.

I've seen people begin to feel better after taking anti-depressants for a short while, and stop taking them suddenly because they think they are 'cured'! Again, go to your GP, do not just stop taking anti-depressants, always do it with the support and guidance of your doctor, you can fall into very dark paces (metaphorically) when you go cold-turkey. A dear friend decided to take himself off his tablets suddenly, and became very ill. When I asked him why, he said he hated the idea of taking anti-depressants - like it labelled him in some way, we discussed it long and hard, I reminded him that some people (like me) have a chemical deficiency/imbalance and the tablets are there to support our body much like taking a vitamin. Think of it simply as a daily supplement and the demonising voices begin to fall away.

Soon after, with his GPs guidance, my friend got himself back onto his tablets and I made him swear never to take himself off them again without first consulting his doctor.

So can gardening really help?

Well it certainly helps me as part of my daily self-care 'routine', and millions of others swear by it too.
Not only are you moving muscles, breathing fresh air and hopefully picking up some much needed vitamin D (but do wear sunscreen!), you are also absorbing yourself in an activity that needs concentration, but shouldn't add to your stress if you do it right.

For example, deadheading flowers focuses your eyes and mind on finding those faded blooms, carefully tracing the stem back to the next flower or leaf node, and snipping it cleanly off with sharp secateurs or scissors. Each one removed is a success, and will reward you with more flowers in a few days/weeks.

Sowing seeds, potting on seedlings and planting them out can have similar powers to train the mind away from stress and anxious thoughts. If listening to birds singing (or neighbours arguing!) is stealing your focus, try bringing it back by listening to some of your favourite music, or maybe a mindfulness podcast if you find these helpful. Some actually find these things anxiety inducing, so do listen to yourself. If you are overwhelmed, stop and change how you are accomplishing your goal, but continue to aim for it.

Don't try undertaking a huge project like building a deck or digging a pond - now is not the time to put extra pressure on yourself. Choose small easy goals (like removing a single dead flower), prepare your tools and surroundings, and take deep steady breaths. If all you manage is that one flower head today, that's perfectly fine - remember that it is one more than you achieved yesterday, and allow yourself to smile when you do succeed.

Love
Rebecca xx.

Garden and Life Progress - Three years later - Mind the gap please!

It's almost 3 years since my last post, but so much has happened in that space of time.

Health:

I am not surprised I was feeling a little 'blah' about gardening when I wrote my last post. It turns out I was quite ill. I had been diagnosed with Endometriosis, but later I found out I also had Folate Deficiency Anaemia and Adenomyosis! Aren't I greedy! I was in constant, agonising pain, feeling dizzy and faint, and in a hormonal nightmare.

I'm 41 now, and never had any intention of having children, so after evaluating the risk factors, having a lot of discussion and a lot of soul searching I went into hospital in February this year, and had a total abdominal hysterectomy. It has taken a long time to recover, my 15cm scar can be quite sore at times and oddly numb, but I've pushed myself a little more each day, and six months later I can honestly say I have never felt so well. I don't need horribly strong painkillers or constant hot water bottles anymore. I'm on Hormone Replacement Therapy, and take a minute Folic Acid tablet to keep my Folate level up. No more pain, no more bleeding, no more fainting! Whoohoo!

Gardener's Society:

I decided to withdraw from the Gardener's Society in it's entirety. As my crafting and jewellery making flourished, and my involvement with the Society increased, my gardening time reduced and it became such a chore - that surely isn't the point of being a gardening society member. I get too involved in things too quickly and this was just the same. As a Committee member I felt obligated to go to every talk, every excursion, every meeting. It just wasn't for me. I'm delighted that my resignation had no detrimental affect on the Society and it continues without me.

The wall of green from our upstairs window

Garden:

Having repeatedly discussed the monumental Leylandii hedge, which was in our neighbour's garden, forming part of the boundary between our garden and theirs, both parties agreed that if we took responsibility for removing the trees, then we could have the land that they stood on. It was the full width of our garden, approximately 13 metres, and would add about 3 metres to the length. That may not sound much, but the trees overhung our garden so far and so densely that only half the garden would get wet when it rained. The trees constantly shed dead 'needles', turning the lovely soil mix in the raised beds into inhospitable acid, and the grass was parched and yellowing.

Leylandii half felled

Getting the trees taken down by a tree surgeon was the easy part, taking one man a week and a half. The next challenge was getting the stump and roots out, so that we could drop the soil level down by about a metre to match our finished garden level. The stumps and roots were enormous! The fibres were so dense that they seemed to be fossilised. The trees had been planted on a spoil heap containing bricks, tiles, broken asbestos sheets and goodness knows what. It was impossible to get a stump grinder up to the top of the stump, the roots would not yield to encouragement from mechanical diggers, and chainsaws were instantly blunted by the detritus embedded in the roots. The tree surgeon, a second tree surgeon and our builder Fred (from Just Patios) all scratched their heads.

We'd started, so we had to finish! In desperation we went out and bought a jet washer and a chainsaw of our own.

This remaining stump was below the original ground level

They WILL come out!!

We  washed those stumps 'til the bark peeled off, the clay soil turned to pudding and I looked like I'd been dumped head first into a First World War trench. Every now and again we'd attack the mud with spades and hand trowels. The chainsaw and reciprocating saw nearly disassembled themselves trying to cut through the soaking wet, fibrous timber. Finally, after about 2 weeks of constant battle after work and at weekends, aided during the day by our builder and his brother Mark, the first stump fell! The sense of relief was enormous. During that week the builder, spurred on by our physical endeavour, managed to remove all the stumps - it was a hard-fought victory.

Fred begins the final stage of hard landscaping

Where the Leylandii tree stumps were

Fred progressed with the rest of the landscaping very quickly. Retaining walls, fences and patio were completed at the end of the garden, where the Leylandii had once stood. Fred took a little rest from us (probably in a darkened room!).


A note about Fred - He is awesome! He is fast, thorough, is very accurate with his time estimations for jobs, arrives when he says he will and works like a demon. Fred landscaped our first garden, front and back, and then we broke it to him that we had bought a plot of land to self-build on. He demolished the old building that stood on the plot, laid out and dug all the footings, unofficially project managed, sourced tradesmen, helped us lay out the under floor heating, fitted plasterboard throughout and landscaped the garden front and back - he is a machine! I'm sad that we've run out of jobs for him to do, because he is a brilliant, trust-worthy, devilishly witty contractor, and we miss him.

Perimeter fencing and raised beds done

When Fred returned, he built me two long raised brick beds and one taller square one. We bought in cubic metre bags of 20mm gravel, sand, compost and course-grade vermiculite. Weed suppressing membrane was laid at the bottom of each bed, a layer of gravel, then sand, and then a mix of compost and vermiculite were added. The square bed became home to a small apple tree on M27 rootstock, variety 'Scrumptious' from The Potted Garden, Bearsted. We then created a hedge around it in lavender 'Munstead' from Stone Green Nurseries, Pluckley.

 The two long raised beds became Square Foot Gardening beds, with the addition of wooden grids laid on the surface. Once Fred had completed the paving between the Square Foot beds, we took the opportunity to buy a beautiful Swallow Greenhouse and potting shed.

Square Foot veg beds planted up

I purchased some excellent vegetable plug plants from Victoriana Nursery, Challock for Autumn, mostly brassicas. All performed very well, and in fact, some are still in the ground. I also purchased Asparagus plants, Strawberry plants and over-wintering peas. The peas were not successful, but I put that down to me and the manky weather. The Asparagus and Strawberries are doing superbly well. The Asparagus may not crop for a year or two, but the strawberries have been delicious, even the little mouse that lives in the tree ivy thinks so!

That just left two major life goals to achieve...bees and chickens!

Swallow Potting Shed

Swallow Greenhouse